Moses Entertainment Page

This is the section of MosesNews.com where we present entertainment tailored to our Loyal Following. If anyone would like to submit a guest post, send me an email to DonMosesLerman@gmail.com.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

 

Happy Purim From Gustoff Zhychick

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Hear Zhychick Sing !

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

 

Purim in 2010 will start on Sunday, the 28th of February and will continue for 2 days until Monday, the 1st of March

Purim [Hebrew Block]


Friday, February 19, 2010

 

Boycott Jason Biggs Next Movie

Resumption of Jewish News..

Wedding Daze Movie Trailer2:19I just finished watching the Jason Biggs movie" Wedding Daze''/ I was highly offended as the comic relief in this movie is a not so subtle Anti Semitism. There is a character who is a step father and they portray him as a shmuck. Wearing a
Yalmulka and always color coordanted it to match his shirt and is a milk-toast and in the final part of the movie is a total coward. It wasn't called for to have comic relief at the expense of Jews . Perhaps the studios are trying to shed a Jewish portrayed image that Biggs has from his other films , I don;t know , but I was highlyinsulted as were the other jews and Non Jews watching this movie in at my home, I don;t know the story lines of his other films but if this film is any example, I say Bocott Jason Biggs next Film, send Hollywood a message..Don Lerman

Saturday, February 13, 2010

 

My Apologies to My Readership

Firstly let my apologize for not getting the comments up in a lively fashion , We at Moses News . Com are having many technical difficulties , first off the comments are going directly to my blogger dashboard and not my e- mail account and have been not attended to as We were not aware of them quickly enough , Secondly many comments are unsuitable for publication are vulgar or vile in nature and We chose not to publish them, We are having difficulty with our codes as to change the Music and the new graphics are late coming from our Web Master,. keep in touch we will be a bit behind schedule ,Thank you ...Don Lerman

 

Zhychick Speaks Again...* Shut Music off On Top Of Page


 

Moses Silent Movie II '' The Sequel''

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Cousin Chubby's Best Jokes Of The Week ! #1

1.A man went to the entrance of the Temple on Rosh Hashana, he was immediately stopped by the security Guard who demanded that the show him his ticket to get in. the man replied I didn't buy one, the guard replied '' then I can't let you in, then went on to say ''listen this is very important all i want to do is say something to my brother who's sitting in the 3rd row'' then guard saidalright I'll let you in but don't let me catch you praying!

2.It was Yom kipper and a man had a peptic ulcer , he know that if he had something to eat that he would be a Right but it was Yom kipper and it was a fast day,he decide to go to the Rabbi;s house and ask his permission, he knocked on the Door and the Rabbi's wife let him in and led him to kitchen where the Rabbi was having a sandwich and a cup of coffee, "I don't feel well today ,do you think that it will be alright if I have something eat'' no said the Rabbi , absolutely not, the man responded ''wait a minute how could this be , here your sitting and enjoying a meal yet forbiding me to have something to eat the Rabbi replied '' Im not stupid enough to ask anyones permission

3.A man fell asleep during Rabbis sermon , the Rabbi called out to me to me ''wake him up 'I replied back .. you put him to sleep you wake him up !

4.A Rabbi was on a plane and seated next to him was Texan complete with the cowboy hat and western attire, the Texan leans over and says '' would you like to join me in half of my Ham Sandwich? , the Rabbi replied ''sorry against my convictions, a short while passes and the Texan takeout a deck of playing cards and says ''care to join me in a game of Texas hold em?, the Rabbi once again replies "sorry against my convictions . A Short time passes and the Texan takes out a bottle of Bourbon and say join me in a drink? the Rabbi gave the same rely against my conviction, The Texan then takes out his 6 shooter and hold s it to the Rabbis head and says look that's it this is the 3rd time that you refused me , now I said take a drink, The rabbi says ''while you got the gun out can you bring back the ham sandwich?

5.I was traveling Down south from N.Y. in the 70's. and went to a restaurant t I asked '' the waiter Do you serve Jews'' The waiter said absolutely its the law, I said good then to the kitchen and bring me out a glass of tomato juice

 

Cousin Chubby's Best Jokes Of The Week ! #2

1.A. man walks into a Deli ,Hows business? he asks, not very good replies the shopkeeper , don't worry it'll pick says the costumer, the man then enters a gift shop , hows business he replies, not good says the owner, don't worry its going to get better,hang in there, he then goes to a liquor store hows business he says , great say the owner couldn't be better...good says the man stick em up!

2.My Dentist told me that I don't have to brush my teeth... Just the ones I want to keep!

3. An old man went to his Doctor, Doctor he says I can't pee, how old are you " the doctor asks , 80 , the doctor say you peed enough!

4.A man was at the cemetery at the gravestone to my left , pounding his chest and saying ' why did you die ? why did you die? Do you know this man,I never met him, he continued ..why did you die , then who is this , Its my wifes 1st husband .why did you die why did you di

 

Cousin Chubby's Best Jokes Of The Week ! #3

1. An 80 year old man was sitting on a park bench crying when a police officer approached'' whats s the problem he said, the 80 yr old man replied '' I just got married to a gorgeous 25 year old bride , passionet love every night , she gives me an allowance I live in her penthouse apartment she pays the rent she lets me drive her Mercedes, the police officer said so why are you crying ? the old man said '' Forgot where I live!''

2. An old lady, a spinster , never married was at the doctors office, whats wrong she asked the doctor , the doctor looked at her and said ""I"m afraid its woman trouble '' she replied '' you mean In ever used it and now its giving me trouble?''

3.Three old men where discussing getting old a 60 yr old a 70 and an 80 yr old , the 60 said its not good being 6o because .when your 60 you can't urinate the 70 said I got it worse when your 70 you can't make a bowl movement, the 80 yr old man replied , I urinate like clock work everyday at 7am and make a bowl movement everyday like clockwork at 8am , the other two replied so whats the problem ...he said I wake up at 9am
4. After loosing an enormous amount of weight Don notice that the chest area was still large it didn't look right for a man, his doctor said Don you got to go for a mama gram I wont go, a mama gram Don replied for a man, the doctor said look you got to go . Don replied back Ok but under no circumstance am I going for a pap shmere

 

Cousin Chubby's Best Jokes Of The Week ! #4


1. As Broadway play was about to start and just they where about to raise the curtain the Manager comes out and says'' Ladies & Gentleman there will be no performance tonight the leading ,man suffered a Heart attack and died, From the audience you could hear an old Jewish woman yelling '' Give Him Some Chicken Soup''' The manager yelled back ''madam please the man is dead it can't help him , she yells back ''it Vouldn't hoyt!


2,In a crowed Movie theater a woman was yelling at the top of her voice ''IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE'' A man stands up and says lady I'm a doctor she replies "OY HAVE I GOT A GIRL FOR YOU''

3. A very religious man immigrated to this country saved up for several years then sent for his elderly mother from Europe, as she greets him at the port she notices that he is clean shaven'' she says Moishe wheres your beard , he replied nobody wears one in this country, she then notice that he's not wearing a yarmulke, wears your yarmulke she said , he replies nobody bothers wearing them, she say do you keep Kosher , not necessarily here , she then said let me ask you sometime .. are you still circumcised?

4.A man immigrated to his country and needed a job he heard that down at Delancy street that they were hiring ditch diggers, so off he went , to his dismay the interviewer asked him if he was able to read, which he replied no , the interviewer said well in this country to be a ditch digger you have to be able to read, dejected he got hold of some old rags and sold them at the sidewalk from that he graduate to a store and later a sold new clothing then he acquire and 3rd and 4th store and dabbled in Real Estate and in a short while was very rich man He was about to negotiate a million dollar loan from the bank the manager receives him and says Mr, Cohen were going to give you the loan hand down whatever you ask for just sign on the dotted line . Mr,Cohen replied ''I can read or write'' the manage read a man of your success can't read write can you imagine how far in life you would gone if you could .MR, Cohen replied ''If I could read and write I'd be a ditch digger on Delancy Street!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

 

A Quick GodFather and Pappilion Imatation

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In N.Y. today it was a long day with a lot of time on my hands , to much time , I had nothing to do or write today so here are 2 of my imitations,,be well .. Don Lerman

Saturday, February 06, 2010

 

From An Old Family Recipe From My Aunt Yetta....

Don Lerman's Stuffed Cabbage
stuffed cabbage

Don Lerman's Stuffed Cabbage's
Ingredients as Follows.....
2 large cans of redpack crushed tomatoes
1large can tomatoe sauce Such as Del Monty ,hunts or Redpack
I large box of dark raizons
1 box george washington rich brown gravy mix
1small can of accent
1 box Carolina rice
1 lemon
1, box dark brown sugar
3medium Heads green cabbage
1 golden delious apple
1 large yellow onion ( same size as apple)
2 eggs
11/2 lbs kosher chop meat ( socked and salted , skirt neck and diapram)
Directions to cook as follows.....
1 boil down the cabbage heads . and I mean boil them down until soft otherwise it;ll taste like an inner tube
2. grate oniom
3. grate apple
4.open cans of crushed tomato and sauce and pour in large stock pot
5.put grated apple in stock pot with sauce
6. put grated onion in stock pot with sauce]
7.put box of brown sugar in ( don't even try to use white cane sugar , brown only)
8.put 2 packet george washingtons rich brown gravy mix in pot
9.shake a little accent in pot
------------in a separate pot boil rice''1 cup'' -------------
10. mix chop meat with 2 eggs in large bowl
add cooked rice ( let rice cool otherwise eggs in chop meat will curdle)
11. cabbage ( cut away vein ) cool under cold water for a minute
12. put leaves on table and add meat mixture.. roll up!
13.put rolled leave sin center of pot with sauce mixture
13 put on medium heat for 3 hrs
14 at very end add juice of 1 lemon( do not add before or it will be to sour)
--sometimes it doesn't have ''the taste '' until the next day when it cures overnight in the fridge thats the nature of stuffed cabbage don't worry


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

 

While Your Here.. Don't Forget To Visit The Archives!




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Don Lerman Live .. Dirty Joke Warning!

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